Who is the boss in your relationship?
In civilizations where men are in charge, this is a pointless question. In certain cultures, equality is one of the most crucial aspects of a good partnership, but countless couples slip into intrinsically unequal dynamics and positions.
If we don’t feel like we have a voice in our family, we may choose a partner who will speak for us. One person is more childlike, while the other is more paternal. One is more subservient, while the other is more dominant.
We may even notice that we are considerably quieter around our partners, encouraging them to represent us.
When one partner is the boss in a relationship?
We might behave helplessly toward our partner if we grew up in a family that made us feel inadequate, as if we couldn’t do things for ourselves. We may not complete simple tasks and rely on our companion to look after us.
On the other hand, if we grew up feeling rejected or like we had to take care of ourselves, we may seek control in whatever way we can. We may find it difficult to trust people and want to exert control over our partners’ movements to feel more secure in the relationship.
Each of these events can lead to a pattern of conduct in which one of us acts like a parent and the other acts like a child with our relationship.
Although we are initially drawn to these roles because they make us feel more comfortable or secure, the power dynamics in our relationships tend to create a lot of stress and conflict.
They can cause disagreements and outright scorn, or they can quietly suppress our feelings of attraction and affection.
When we start to go over one other’s boundaries and cease treating each other like two independent people with two sovereign minds, our own feelings of respect and attraction toward our spouse might suffer significantly.
Outcomes of one partner dominating
When one person exerts control over the other, we are less likely to have loving relationships in which we are indeed seen and felt by our partner.
We begin to substitute form for content, forcing expectations and rituals on one another instead of accepting the more natural give and take that marks an equal, adult relationship.
We can break free from the power dynamics that contribute to emotions of inequity in a relationship if we recognize these patterns. If we find that one of us constantly chooses where we eat dinner, we should give the other person the option.
If one of us has ceased seeing friends or engaging in activities, we enjoy as a result of surrendering to our partner’s interests, we should make it a point to resume those activities.
As we push ourselves to be more equal in our relationships, we’ll notice a variety of subtle and not-so-subtle messages we’re giving to our spouses.
It’s vital to remember that the louder or more powerful personality doesn’t always wield power. We must work together as a team, bolstering one other’s strengths while being open about our flaws.
Instead of limiting each other’s growth and experience, we open up new opportunities for each other. We may build a long-lasting romantic relationship where both parties feel happy by keeping equality.